venting #4

Friday morning I had a checkup for the shoulder, and things didn’t go as I wished.

The doctor told me I have to keep the orthopedic brace for another week and came back for another checkup. The only thing going through my mind was anger for not having any precise answer yet, this situation is also taking a toll on the diet, I’m still on the right track but it’s getting harder to avoid “comfort food”, I want to see this as another challenge I have to win.

Since things weren’t shitty already this morning I woke up with an annoying stomach pain, the brute stop from exercising is knocking on the door.

The body dysmorphia is reaching an all-time high since I started to hit the gym, I have way less muscle mass on me, I can see it, feel it, and also read it on the scale.